Thawing out

Less than a month ago, I wrote about feeling frozen in fear.

I felt overwhelmed with the sudden responsibilities of being a divorced woman with a child, a house and expenses to pay. Everything from figuring out how to pay the bills over the internet to cleaning up the dogs' shit on the side of the house felt overwhelming to me. I was so afraid, I stayed in bed.

Less than 30 days later I am proud to report that I not only got out of bed, but I have since cleaned up the dogs' shit (on a regular basis too!), changed a couple light bulbs, had a pool party for 50 people, started taking more ownership of my house, put a compassionate, loving but consequencial foot down toward my son's dispectful words ("This is MY house now and you are living under MY rules!") and, today, I am so very, very proud to say that I began tackling the finances -- organizing the records in a way that I can understand; opening my own internet bill-paying account; and starting an Excel worksheet to keep better track of the finances.

Have I made mistakes? You betcha. I have a city garbage container overflowing with trash because I forgot to roll it out to the street this week on garbage pick up day. I also broke out in tears and pathetically sobbed out my divorce situation today to a stranger on the phone when trying to elimniate a service from the cable company.

No, I have been far from perfect on this evolutionary road but I am getting stronger and I am no longer frozen in fear.